Gone

Dr. Jelqstone and the Inflatable Iguana Incident

Dr. Jelqstone was not your typical scientist. Sure, he had seven PhDs, a 90% caffeine-to-blood ratio, and a laboratory powered entirely by hamster wheels (don’t ask). But his true claim to fame was his… creative approach to science.

One fine Tuesday—because nothing normal ever happens on a Tuesday—Dr. Jelqstone unveiled his latest invention: the Auto-Inflato-Lizard 3000™.

“It’s a robotic iguana that inflates to scare away burglars!” he proudly announced to an audience of three squirrels and a very confused pizza delivery guy.

With a dramatic flourish, he pressed the big red button.

Nothing happened.

He pressed it again. The iguana twitched. It hissed. And then it ballooned to the size of a Mini Cooper, broke through the lab ceiling, and floated off into the sky, shrieking phrases like “GET OFF MY LAWN” and “I AM THE NIGHT.”

The local news covered it for hours.

“Flying inflatable reptile terrorizes yoga class!”

Dr. Jelqstone shrugged. “Science is about learning from failure. And next time… I’ll add cupholders.”

The squirrels gave him a standing ovation.

The pizza guy never came back.